The First Step: Learning to Truly Listen

There are no shortcuts; the work must be done. We must do the hard work to find our true selves and to live a life that is truly ours—not one controlled by fear, pain, or the illusion of entitlement. This journey begins with a single, vital action: Listening.

I am beginning to understand the listening better now. It isn’t just about hearing noise; it is about letting it all crash into me. I must listen to all of it—listen to the ego and all its fears and doubts, all of its stories—and find the place where those fears live within. I am learning to sit with the ego until it is exhausted, bringing it to the humility within where we can simply speak, ask questions, and find the hurt so we can see it for what it is.

Sometimes the listening is a tug-of-war. My heart and my mind are at opposite ends of the road. The mind is hoping I listen and fall back with it like an old girlfriend, pulling me into stories of doubt and regret. But I have to find the messages that bring all of this out of me, knowing somewhere deep inside that those are the things I need to follow. I have to listen until the tears subside, then follow that part of me to the messages of the heart.

This isn’t just about listening to the present; it’s about listening to the parts of me I tried to outrun. I recently had to allow "two younger voices" from my past to finally be heard. I had to listen to their horrible events and the shame they carried so I could create a space for them to be safe and free of judgment. By listening to them, I found the truth: I am here now because of all these things. I am the beauty behind those scars.

Listening also means being conscious of the messages from the universe and the people around me. It means remaining humble enough to listen and respond in humility, even when a comment flares up my protectors. It’s about asking: What is this telling me? Where do I need to grow? What do I need to learn?

When you feel overwhelmed or feel like you are forcing the healing, stop. Take a breath and reconnect with your heart. Breathe the ego away, listen again from the heart, and begin again. This space must be free of judgment and pressure to perform. It must simply be allowed to exist, to be seen in its truest form. Allow the pain to guide you there and be seen.

Only you can shine that light. Only you have the ability to find and show your greatness. But first, you have to be still enough to hear it.