The Council Within Me

This week, I met the parts of me that built my life. What follows is not theory. It is the conversation inside.

I am the ego healer.

Not that I have the ability to heal others, but to heal my own.

I am the Healer with the path to the ego: to open the heart and allow the ego to become the connector between the wounded self and the true self. That is how I am a Healer, a guide, a visionary. Neither I nor anyone can conquer the ego.

But then the question rises — what about God? Mother Earth? Your true self?

Where do they fall into this?

They are your support, your guide, your love. They will sit with you and hold you. They will hold your hand as you walk the path. They will give you Grace and show you compassion along your way. They will take anything you give them.

But you must walk.

You walked the path that brought you here. You must now walk the path that brings you out. The lessons in both paths live in the steps. One cannot exist without the other.

You must crawl before you walk. You must have pain before you understand Joy. Fear before you see love. Suffering before you embrace healing.

The ego tells you otherwise.

It tells you that you were entitled to a pain-free life. That suffering should not be your burden. That life owes you Freedom. That your past is a get-out-of-jail-free card.

It is not.

If you kill or neglect healing your ego, the belief that freedom without pain is possible will live inside you forever. The illusion that healing is free of fear and suffering will remain.

Healing the ego is the only sustainable way of life — bringing pain into healing, allowing yourself to grow from fear, showing every part of you that it is worth Love, worth life — not to be hidden, ignored, suppressed, or killed.

The ego is part of you forever.

Healing is done as one.

One morning, it was Riggo.

Extra noisy. Not clear, but present.

He is the one seeking to be seen. To belong. To fit in and be accepted. When he feels unseen, he acts out. He will do anything for attention — no care to how or what — just to be known.

He wants to be the one on stage. Yet he is terrified of being seen. He wants the reward without the vulnerability. The recognition without the work. The vision without the exposure.

That is his quandary.

His self-belief is low. His self-worth comes from others.

So he asks, What is my role? What part do I play? What do I bring to the table?

His role is simply being him.

The vulnerable part that feels deeply. The one who sees vulnerability in others. The one who seeks true connection. He desperately wants to be loved. He wants to give love. He is the emotional being within.

He requires reassurance that he matters.

He will keep us humble. He will bring us into deep feeling.

He loves hard. He gives everything. He is fragile. His emotions live on the surface. He is the Mama’s boy — the one who longs for womanly love.

Balancing him is my task.

Not silencing him.

Balancing him.

Another morning, Big Daddy.

Strong in my dreams. Strong in my body. His protector was loud.

After surrendering, he asked the same question.

What is my role?

One by one, the parts ask.

Sunday was Riggo. The poet has written about them. Lil Cory found freedom at a spiritual retreat, so it is only fair that Big Daddy wanted to know his place.

He is the driver of proof. The one who can and has been the best at what he does. Husband. Father. Coach. Worker. He enters blazing and takes the world by storm.

Now his lesson is different.

Sustain. Finish. Follow through.

Show the doubters we are that dude.

We are successful. We are world-renowned. We are writer, podcaster, ego-healer, entrepreneur — whatever we set out to be.

The confidence is unmatched.

But it must mature.

Getting to know these versions of me for who they truly are is rewarding — not just seeing them through their negative protector actions, but seeing them at their heart. Each one has greatness within. Each one is allowed to shine individually. Together our light is unstoppable.

When we are pointed in the same direction for the same goal, for the life we are capable of having —

We are Cory J Riggs.

Then came the shadow.

The protector the poet allowed me to meet.

The addict.

The one who hid in darkness.

I recognized why at times I felt safety pulling the covers over my head, retreating into impure darkness. That dude is hurt. There is pain rooted deep inside.

I held him.

I pulled all the protectors in. Sat with them. Gave them love.

They appear mean and hateful.

They are scared.

They love their versions of me so deeply they will do anything to protect them — even sabotage.

They believe love is death. They believe the unknown is a disguise for hurt. They believe suffering is safer than hope.

Even as I write, they make my hand hesitate.

They only know pain.

So we listen.

We listen.

We listen again.

And at every turn, we return with love.

We build trust the way we built pain — slowly, repeatedly.

We turn pain into love. We teach them to love the fears. To love the hardest parts of life. To know there is life beyond even the darkest acts.

See suffering clearly.

Then love it.

And then there is the space.

In meditation.

A place I reach and stop at the edge.

Calm. Still. Open. Like something waiting for my entrance.

A portal.

I sit there unsure of what holds me back.

Is it fear? Is it surrender? Is it commitment? Is it a test?

I do not know.

But I return.

I will go there forever if I must. I will not give up. I do not need to know why. It will give me what I need when I am ready.

I will surrender control. I will trust.

When it is time, I will cross.

And then came clarity.

I am Cory J. Riggs.

All that he is. All that he will be. All that he can be.

Nothing is out of my reach. The path is already laid before me. I am not becoming him. I am him.

Not on my way.

Here.

Existing.

Climbing without rush. Moving without force. Taking steps forward.

There is peace in this.

Slow down. Be intentional. Be kind. Live within your boundaries.

Do what is right. Do what is needed.

Live without fear of failure. Without fear of judgment. Without fear of not achieving.

Nothing is a mistake.

Learn. Adapt. Grow.

Your life is alive within you.

Live it.

This is the alignment. This is every version of me learning to stand as one, no longer fighting, no longer hiding, no longer pulling in opposite directions, but pointing toward the same light. This is the meeting that has been happening every morning in silence, every surrender, every confrontation, every act of love toward what once felt like the enemy. This is the moment the voices become one voice.

This is the Council Within Me.